Welcome: For those of you following along this is Question 2 of Jill’s challenge – feel free to skip ahead if you know the setup.

And for anyone who missed the last post;

Jill (from Humming Bird, my current mental health person, I like her vibe, she gets me.)

Asked me to think about a couple of things before I see her again next week.

These Questions Were;

Who Is The Man You Want To Be?

Answered here: Post 1
If You Found A Woman To Be With Today What Would That Look Like?

This is the one we’re diving into here.
And less as the challenge, but more sub-context and conversationally but as a natural lead on;
What Are You Actively Doing to Achieve That?

So instead of just thinking about these alone (again), I’m writing my answers raw, unfiltered, undrafted — the same way I did before.
Because that’s how I write truth.

And I don’t want this to feel like therapy homework — I want it to feel like me.

If You Found A Woman To Be With Today, What Would That Look Like?

I guess for this one, there’s wants and needs — both for me and for her.

And anything I ask for, I’m willing to offer right back.

I’m skipping the vanity points and the obvious stuff — and not just repeating the traits I mentioned in the first post — because doing that would be selling you short.

So let’s start with the needs:

Loyalty.
Sounds obvious, right?
Unfortunately, it hasn’t been — and it’s burned me more than anything else.

That’s why I’m paranoid.
I don’t want to be — but I need her to choose me, like I choose her.

I want to trust, but I’ve got a rule:

“Don’t put yourself in situations where you can do something wrong.”

And I need the same from her.
If she’s not doing anything wrong, she doesn’t make it look or feel like she is.

We stay in reasonable contact, and we act like people in a loving, healthy relationship.
No vanish on the Jamie

Wants to Build something, Both Separately And together.

I always talk about taking over the world, but in truth – It’s more about doing something meaningful, something that brings good and purpose and a why. Although I need someone to build that with, someone who see’s me as I am,

See’s what I want to achieve supports it and helps me stick at it, just by telling me i’m doing good – And the strength and sternness, and stability to handle my stubbornness, my outbreaks, my off days, with understanding and kicking my ass, but always with love. And I will do this for her dreams as well.

Together though we want a life together, not just a time or a moment, a future a ride or die. We want to be each other’s person and there’s no desire for that to change.

We don’t have to fix each other, we just know how each other works, and see us at our rawness and are able to work each other’s patterns to achieve greatness together as one.

To one day be able to say “she found me broken, and with her, we became whole!”

And Lastly:

Presence – Physically being there.

Again this sounds simple but again it’s been a struggle.

Not just in long distance relationships or relationships where there are factors of distance and travel, or funding etc.

It’s more than that, it’s the want to be there for no other reason than for wanting to be there.

Where even if you don’t spend every waking minute together, your thinking of each other, not texting ex’s or replacing time together with each other because “you got a better/faster/ more immediate offer”

Yes things come up and plans are made but don’t go off grid completely.

There’s a huge difference between picking someone up because they need the lift, and when it’s because they want You to drive them, and then drive somewhere together after.

Wants:

These are simpler because these are things I like and would like her to want to do too.

I want to drive and hold her hand, or place my hand on her leg, or her place hand on mine (completely non-sexual) honestly to God that part kills me, how much I miss it, I guess when I have had a car I’ve always had a girl.

This leads into wanting to drive places, I’ll drive her anywhere if she gives us somewhere to go, I want to do things together, travel together – have crazy adventures, mad stories to tell, laughter, tears, stresses, near misses but all with lots of cuddles and kisses.

I know that sounds soppy as hell, but really what did you expect from this post?

The point is I want someone to finally LIVE with.

That’s answers that question – In the next we answer; What Are You Actively Doing To Achieve It?